That is what you hear when a heart is breaking. It is so deceptive. No one know how much you ache or struggle because we learn to be deceptive ourselves. The smile that hides the tears we shed and the laughs we try to let out so that the uncontrollable sobbing is held at bay. Everyday I wish I could reach in my chest to give her this heart of mine so that she no longer has to struggle. When is your heart officially considered broken. Mine heals and breaks over and over again. You learn to ignore the beeps of machines and the lines that lead to her tiny little body and you still see this perfect baby. For now her surgery for tomorrow has been postponed due to an infection. Again my heart breaks. I am anxious to talk to my little girl so she can "tell me all about it" but for now we wait. She sleeps peacefully in my arms with no idea what the future holds for her. That things she experiences will be for her to get better. Now I finish writing this I will wipe away all my tears and put on a smile and pray.
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