What a ride?

You know that feeling when you are on a roller coaster and you get buckled in and then you hear the chains clink and that sudden jolt and you start to move, that tightness in your belly, the lump in your throat waiting for just the right moment to scream, then your hands reach for that bar in front of you to hold on tight because you know you are anticipating all the up and downs, waiting for the moment to go over the edge? I have that feeling but I have nothing to hold on to and the screams are silent. I look that thrill ride everyday in the face and she laughs, plays and calls me Mom. I am so ready for a moment to just step off this ride and have that happy, excited feeling once again. Fighting tears all day but I know we are in good hands. God's hands.