Looking back on these past 2 years I cant help but smile and cry. I have talked about our nurse practitioner many times and I will never ever forget all the words of encouragement she gave this scared, uncertain, 3rd time mom. The last time we visited she said "you know, this journey is a very scary one but it is not a bad one. Look at your baby now and tell me that you would change one single thing about her." I swear I want to bottle that woman up and every time I have an "I can't do this moment" I can reach in and take what I need from it to keep going. And going we have done. On June 17th Brinley will have her 3rd open heart surgery, the fontan procedure. In my mind I know that I am ready for this to be behind us but my heart wants to crumble every minute of everyday. How do you prepare? To sit in a tiny room with Dr's who tell you every thing that will be done and at the end remind you that with all surgeries there is a risk of death and then want you to sign your soul away to them saying you understanding and then take your baby away behind these big giant double doors and they expect you just to hold it together when you really want to scream and drop to your knees. But some how I will manage to stay on my feet and wait in a cold room with many other parents waiting on this beige phone in the corner of the room to ring and pray that they ask to "speak with the parents of Brinley Rodriguez" to tell us surgery has started, the Dr is currently augmenting her pulmonary artery, he is finishing up her fontan and she is stable and doing fine, the surgery is complete and it should be a little bit before we can see her but she is doing well. This surgery is expected to be 5 hours. I could say this will be the longest 5 hours of my life but that would be a lie. This past two years has seemed like an eternity. Brinley is everything I could have prayed and hoped for. She is my miracle.