Glory to God....,

I prayed and he listened and answered. Dr. McDreamy said he had never been able to see Brin's pulmonary arteries as well as he did today in her echo. Her glenn looked perfect. He said the circulation was doing exactly what it was supposed to be doing. He said her color was wonderful and he is just so impressed with her. He still had no explanation to why things got so bad in the hospital but you would never know by looking at her now.   We are just so thankful for everyone who has stuck by us, prayed for us and gave us encouraging words. Our next appt is not until January. Wow, that is just crazy to me. I am one proud momma. 

These are the days

Life had just picked up where it left and it is wonderful. Chloe is wonderful, Emory is wonderful, and Brinley is wonderful. I hate that ever doubted myself. Brinley is headed to the dr. next week for post op check ups. I am prepared for anything but I deep down it is going to be a good one. I can't wait to see Janet and hug her neck. I miss not speaking with her everyday. Before this I wondered how I would get through each day without her encouraging me but it is all so normal. No more pulse ox, weigh ins. Just us enjoying our baby. I feel like I have got to bring my baby home from the hospital for the first time twice. She is my little piece of heaven. My miracle. 

Finally, I can breathe again

I missed being home with all this chaos. Even though my house is a mess and my girls are already fighting, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Brin is just so happy to be home. She is all smiles. Emme keeps looking at her and then says "hey, she is smiling at me". :) Chloe had choir tryouts today. I have no doubt that she made it.  I love to here choirs sing and can't wait to go and watch them perform. Today was a great day. Brandy and Ruben also came by for a visit and went and visited the sis. Now we rest..… buenos noches. 

What was my....

Life like before all of this??? The news of having a third baby was thrilling. Eric and I tossed around the idea having one more and it was that if it happens it happens scenarios. God's hand was at work then. He knew Brin was special and this was going to be a test for me. It has not been easy. It has a challenge for me emotionally more than anything. I know I have shared so much with everyone. Thank you all for listening. The road has been paved for us and now we will try any where it takes us. Brin has brought so much to me and my family. Personally she is a testament for me to never doubt myself and to never give up. She never gives up on us and to see her fight for life is absolutely the most amazing thing I have experienced.  I hope my story effects someone in an extraordinary way. Even if it is only to make you thing about things in a way that let's cherish all the moments you would normally just enjoy but to take a minute and say "I never want to forget this". Writing all of this down helps me. All the joy and sadness I have had over the 6 months of my life is mind boggling. I pray no one ever experiences the dark places I have been but the joy out ways everything.  God has made his self known to me in the most obvious ways. I laugh saying he should have just reached out and slapped me upside my head. I can't say I will never be at a place in my life that I will not doubt what he is doing but I will take a moment to remind myself that he has a plan. All the times I begged for miracles he granted each and everyone of them, just in is own way. The people that I have crossed paths with are the most amazing people I have met and all have help me to cope and find strength in my trying times. He knows I struggle everyday but each day is a blessing. 

Look out

Wichita Falls!!! These girls will soon be home. I can definitely say it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. We finally made it to the third floor which is one step away from loading up the car a head home. Emme went to the house with Eric for a little bit tonight so we could FaceTime and we the were leaving Emme said "goodbye house, I miss u house, I love u house". Aw, it made my heart hurt. Jess said the other nite she hugged Chlo and she said " u sound like my mom" and started crying. We are ready to be home and back together. Dr. McDreamy, I mean Dr. Muyskens, came by too Brin earlier and said he has been on pins and needles bc of her. I always say the bad things always feel like a bad dream and now seeing her this way is another example. Babies resiliency is so amazing. We have taken a road less traveled but the scenery is amazing. 

One step closer

To going home. Dr. Chemelli said today that Dr. Tam (surgeon) could not see Brin's echo clearly enough to determine the need for surgery. He said clinically she is doing good. Dr. T wants her to have more time to grow and they of course will monitor her closely. She was such a happy girl today. The nurses were coming in one by one to see her smile and laugh. Brin and I facetimed with Aunt Jessie and the gang. We got to see Chlo's beautiful face. We also called daddy and Emme. Emme wasn't quite sure what to think about us being in the phone. She kept wanting to give Brin kisses. So sweet. Chloe has her first soccer game on Monday. I would love to be home to see it. I am here alone right now. Daddy headed home to work. Brin made me laugh so many times today. Even Dr. Meyer came by to tell me that it was good to see me smile. It felt good to smile but it felt even better not to cry. 

Where to begin??

Yesterday evening when I returned to the hospital I was told that Brin had another falling out. I couldn't believe it!!! I had spent all day with her and left when they started changing some of her dressing to run to Target and that is when it happened. She had been wonderful all day long. I just don't understand what is going on. After our visit the ICU Dr stopped me to tell me that the echo was scheduled for in the morning (today) and depending on the findings they were going to schedule ANOTHER  cath to see if she would need to go back in for surgery. They are looking for some narrowing in her pulmonary arteries. This would mean surgery right away. This emotional roller coaster needs to come to an end eventually, right???  My expectations were to be in and out in about a week and no new surgeries until around three years of age. In this case we are looking at 4 open heart surgeries before the age of 5. Peace be with me.  

Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!!!!!!

What a day!? Brin "The Extraordinaire" Rodriguez has once again shown she is a fighter. She came off the ventilator today and is doing great. The Dr. came by and said it looks like we are out of the storm but I am still watching the weather report. :) There have too many days of these ups and downs that I am definitely being cautious. Emotionally I am just a wreck but to see her sleeping so peacefully definitely makes my heart feel lighter. I am spending the night with her. Every minute she opens her eyes I want her to know I am here. Sleeping Beauty has been asleep for 5 days straight and I have been dying to see those pretty eyes. I pray to have more good news tomorrow. Oh, the Dr just came in and said they are going to start feeds again, yay!!!!

Day 4 post-op

All I can do is look for a little bit of improvement and run with it. Tomorrow will make day 10 for us here. You forget the days of the week or time of day. My mom is here with us which is nice. Brin looked like herself tonight when we went and seen her. That will definitely help me sleep better tonight. Chloe was running fever today so she stayed over at the RMH. She got some meds and is resting and fever free. My mom and I had a good little talk on our walk over from the hospital. Nothing inparticular just stuff but it makes me really miss my dad tonight.

Four and a half hearts

We should have our own little sitcom. Eric says that is what our blog should be. It made me smile to hear him talk about it. He realizes it helps me. I can be withdrawn about things sometimes. I refuse to let this little update be bad. Brinley was doing good tonight they said they would give her another day and try to get off the ventilator. They think for her being so young and having to be on a bypass machine for 8 hours just took its toll. They tried weaning her off things too quickly after surgery and she is too sensitive and she was not ready. They having been testing her kidneys to make sure they were not effected after she crashed yesterday and so far so good. Even more so now that she is removing fluid on her own. She definitely is my little miracle. Chloe came to spend the weekend with us. Boy, did I miss her face. Instead of doing fun things for Labor Day weekend she opted to spend it with us. :)   We are so lucky to have three wonderful girls. 

3 months today

That is how long she has been fighting. Three months ago today i had the joy of holding her for the first time. A day later she was in surgery and it would be another 14 days before she was back in my arms. Now I wait to have that moment again. My chest aches but I have come accustomed to this feeling. Heartbreak.