Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Time flies when you are having fun...
11 months ago I welcomed a true miracle into our family. I have been told so many times "Gosh, I dont see how you have done it." Sometimes I am not sure either but it has been the only choice I had. I will never forget all the people that traveled with us to welcome her. I will never forget how everyone went home thinking she was okay and receiving that faithful phone call "Your babies heart is more complex than we originally thought. She also have transposition of the great arteries and will be going into surgery at 3 oclock whether you or here or not." I will never forget that everyone turned around and drove all they way just to be with us and Brin while she endured the first surgery of her little journey. I will never forget the Priest that came in blessed her and christened her before they took her away. I will never forget the moments we cried and prayed for her. I will never forget the very first moment I seen her little heart beating out of her chest. I will never forget the nurse at Harris Methodist that came into my room before I was discharged and cried telling she was praying for me and my baby. I will never forget the words " I wish all those times I could have showed how things would be once we got to this point." I will never forget getting to that point and dropping to my knees and thanking every faithfully guided hand that has helped restructure her tiny heart. I will never forget the little girl in the play room that brought Eric and I a prayer pillow that she made for other heart patients that she would meet after having her own surgery. I will never forget the feeling of Doctors and nursing rushing to my baby's bedside with the crash cart. I will never forget how it feels when a dr says "we do not think she was without oxygen long enough to cause any organ or brain damage." I will never forget the times Jessica and I facetimed together and how that made me feel so much closer to home. I will never forget walking with my husband back and forth to the hospital in silence because there were no words to describe how we were feeling. I will never forget how this has brought my marriage to whole new level. I will never forget the moment my older sister told me that my mother was crying uncontrollably. I will never forget seeing Eric gasp for breath while getting our diagnosis and trying to contain his tears. I will never forget................these memories have turned me into a person that does not take each day for granted. One month today will be a small step for Brinley but will be a giant leap for my healing heart. I cant wait to see her grow up.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
The Lord giveth...
Today Brin had her cardio check up. She is 7 months post BDG. Wow how time flies?! She is so amazing. It feels like I just brought her home and now she will soon have her first birthday. Last night I watched the season finale for 19 kids and counting. Michelle Duggar went for her sono and they were so excited to see the baby and the camera man was going to find out the sex. Sigh.....the baby had no heart beat and three days later after having labor induced she gave birth to a tiny baby girl. I cried uncontrollably. My heart stopped for them just as mine did the day of my own sono for Brin and hearing the words "something is wrong with her heart". I am beyond blessed with this baby girl. When I was still pregnant so many horrible things and sad not knowings went through my mind. I regret every bit of it. I would not trade her for the world. I am lucky to have such a precious baby that changed my life. I mourned my healthy baby but she is with me. My heart hurt for the Duggars loss but it reminded me to be so thankful. As of right now Binny is biting and slobbering on my nose. What a perfect moment. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. I don't know what will happen tomorrow, next week, a year from now or twenty but I will not take any of it for granted.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
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